fairy tale

Over the years I never thought much about marriage or walking down the stupid aisle but lately it’s like I was bitten by the marriage bug as ridicules as that sound because it’s all I’ve been thinking about. Is my biological clock ticking for marriage as opposed to babies? I’ve also notice lately that a lot of my old classmates are married or engaged and that posed a serious question… 

WHY NOT ME? Is there something wrong with me? Is the universe telling me I will be single for the rest of my life? Maybe I missed one to many opportunities in my past that it’s practically impossible to make such thing as a goal! I’d like to blame it on this BAD LUCK the women in my family has that I no lie  chalked it up to THE FAMILY CURSE but that just sounds crazy. I imagine I’m charming, smart, attractive, caring, you know like most guys look for in a wife.  

I guess what it all comes down to is finding that stupid marriage bug and crushing it for biting me in the first place and having my mind wander.

In my 25 almost 26 years on this beautiful earth, I’ve gone through so much from betrayal from close ones, being picked on in school for being musty, losing what I thought was forever friends and gaining new ones and that was just in my early years of life. As I got a little older I started to taste the real world like the consequences for skipping school to smoke with friends, partying the night before work, getting mixed up with a few bad seeds, failing classes in college because my mind was else where ,depression(a total bitch by the way) because my life wasn’t what I planned, and going down a path I never thought I would. Ha sounds like a bunch of negatives but I assure you there’s a lot of positives which I hope to share but if it wasn’t for those experiences, I wouldn’t have had my beautiful daughter Skylar, met my forever friends J, seen actual mountains with my best friend(hopefully my forever man) and I could go on. Anyways I’m almost 26 and I still haven’t figure out my purpose or myself. I’d like to share the journey of DISCOVERING MYSELF because I’m sure there’s a lot out there experiencing the same.

You ever been driving down the road and you get a sad but anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach after leaving a place? It’s the feeling I got the day I left home and every time I think of home. The crazy part is I don’t want to go back home, visiting works just fine for me. It’s just the feeling I get when I think of the land I shared with family, the morning air, my old dirt road that should’ve  been paved like yesterday, the random family gathering that lasted until the am, and my crazy friends haha the ones you take a secret oath with that last forever. The saying Home Is Where The Heart Is well I’d say that’s pretty accurate because no matter how far I go, I’ll never call another place home.